Eight months

Zora was 8 months old yesterday. It is so much fun to watch her express her personality more and more. She is active and curious and grabs at anything and everything (and man, is she fast!). We have taken to calling her "the master of disaster" (Owen especially likes this) because where ever she goes a mess is sure to follow. She can be quite vocal and she definitely lets you know when she is not happy - sometimes really crying but sometimes it's more of a yell and other times she just gives us the business - like she is lecturing us. She is always moving and sometimes you can barely hold on to her (but when she is tired she likes nothing more than to be snuggled and held - and if we try to put her down, she will definitely let you know she is not happy about it. Or just sit up in her crib and start blowing raspberries). She is persistent in what she wants and laughs when I tell her no. I think we might be in trouble in the months (and years) to come.

I find myself noticing the many ways that these first 8 months are similar to and different from the first 8 months with Owen. I'm not trying to compare them. Well I guess I am comparing them - but not to judge them. I just think it is interesting to note the similarities and the differences, not just in them but in me and how I experience this time with them. I feel like I am a little more even keeled this time around and not overwhelmed quite so easily. And while I think we are getting more sleep than we did with Owen, I'm more exhausted (maybe because I'm about to turn 40, but also because keeping up with 2 kids is just more exhausting). I also feel like I can't focus as much on Zora or give her as much attention as I did Owen, because she is one of two and not the only one. For example, we spent a lot more time reading to Owen at this age than we do Zora. And we pretty much followed his schedule when it came to naps, etc. where with Zora we are constantly hauling her off some place when she should be sleeping. Sometimes I feel bad that Zora is missing out on some of that attention and focus, but other times I think that having a little less intense focus from me might be a good thing.

Owen laughed, I mean really laughed, when he was a baby. Zora has a huge, beautiful, expressive smile and she giggles a little but you really have to work to get her to laugh. And she laughs mostly for Owen. Zora definitely seems like she is in a bigger hurry to move than Owen was. She is crawling now and pulls herself up on everything and is starting to cruise. Maybe watching an older sibling who is constantly moving is extra motivation (Owen only had Ken and I to watch and we mostly sat on our bums in a state of utter exhaustion when he was a baby). She is also falling a lot and has gotten many bumps and bruises already. I don't know if this is because she is less cautious than Owen, we are not as worried or we are just more distracted. Or maybe all 3. Getting her dressed or changing her diaper is like a wrestling match and sometimes it takes 2 people to get the job done. And if you turn your back on her for one second, she has something in her mouth. I brought her in from outside a couple of weeks ago and laid her down to change her when she started gagging. I opened her mouth and fished out a piece of bark. Owen did put some things in his mouth, but it was never a huge thing for him. Then again, maybe some of this is due to that less intense focus I was talking about.

There are many things that are similar and it's fun when I'm reminded of things that Owen did or we did with Owen and we can share those memories with him now as we watch Zora. Like telling him that he liked avocado when he was a baby just like Zora does. Or that we used to read the same books to him before bedtime and I used to sing to him to help him fall asleep like I do with Zora. And that he loved to splash and play in the bath when he was a baby (and he still does) just like Zora.

One thing that is very much the same is how I am constantly overwhelmed by what an amazing little person she is and how deep and fierce my love for her is. Of course, what is different is that, genetically speaking, I had no part in creating this amazing little person. Much of the time this doesn't even occur to me. But when it does, it is not in a negative way or something that changes the way I feel about Zora or being her mother. Now, I do have to admit that sometimes when I look at her and think how amazing she is, I wish I could claim some responsibility for some of it (I know there is nature and nurture and both play a role. But at this young age I feel like we haven't had much influence on who she is). But I also think, how amazing. With a child who is biological, you have some sense of the potential pool of traits this new little person is drawing from. I know even when you have a biological child, it's a little bit of a toss of the dice. There are thousands (or millions) of different possible genetic combinations and sometimes children are completely different from their parents. But when you adopt it seems like there are infinitely more possibilities - the birth parents could be anyone - and you really have no idea what personality, temperament or other traits might be in the pool. But here is this little girl who has the genes of two people I have never even met (but the fact that they made Zora makes me think they must have some pretty great qualities) and already she has this personality that I love, even when she is driving me crazy, and she is strong and beautiful and funny. Ok, maybe it is just that when you are a parent, no matter how you came to be the parent of your particular child, you will always think they are great. Maybe we are hard wired that way. Maybe that is part of having a little person who is totally dependent on you every day and knowing them in a way that you will never know anyone else. But I still think it is pretty amazing.