Ken had to work all day, but Owen, Zora and I went down to Shorewood Hills for some 4th of July fun. Owen loved checking out the old fire truck and decorating our bike trailer (in preparation for the parade, which we missed due to naps). We stuck around the house for the afternoon trying, unsuccessfully, to get Zora to take a decent nap. Ken got home just in time for dinner and after Zora was in bed, Owen and I went up to the country club in Shorewood to watch the fireworks. I pulled Owen in the bike trailer. Unfortunately the only bike available with the trailer hitch attachment was Ken's single speed. The country club is not far from our apartment, but it is all uphill. I made it almost to the top of the very long climb before I had to walk. And Owen was sitting in the trailer, yelling "Get back on your bike and pedal Mama! We are going to miss the fireworks - hurry!" The fireworks got off to a slow start. I don't know if they were having technically difficulties or what the story was, but they shot off one every 10 minutes or so for the first 40 minutes. When they finally got underway, Owen was so excited he couldn't contain himself - jumping up and down and yelling "That's amazing! It's like a star dream. Wow, did you see that. That was amazing!" for the duration of the show. The ride home was easy going, except for the part when Owen decided to put his feet on the back tire of the bike.
We had a lot of fun on the 4th but it was also exhausting. With Ken at work, I definitely bit off more than I could chew with my plans for the day and we all paid for it. I tried to pack in 4th of July fun, jam making, housing cleaning and naps for a 7 mos old who wasn't having it. Around 4:30 pm, I was trying to finish the jam at the exact moment Zora woke up and also figure out what to have for dinner and get it started. Owen was tired of being inside and wanted to go out outside to ride his bike. I told him to stay in front of the house and I went outside within 2 minutes to check on him and he was no where to be seen. I called for him a couple of times and then with a slight feeling of panic started around the corner. He came riding back and when I tried to talk to him about it, a meltdown ensued and we both ended up yelling (not one of my best moments, but certainly not my worst). Just as I was about to really blow, I picked Owen up and hugged him and he sobbed "I love you Mama" into my shoulder. We both managed to calm down and I got to work on dinner and Owen went to play with friends. After the meltdown when I was full of mama-guilt for losing my temper and trying to get too much done, I felt like the whole day had been filled with arguing with Owen, meltdowns and struggles and that what should have been a fun day was ruined. As I write this post a couple of days later, though I can still remember how terrible I felt that afternoon, I realized that most of the day had in fact been fun and that the most of the frustration and fighting had been confined to about 30 minutes (not that there wasn't the usual amount of asking Owen to do something 3 or 4 times, or Owen whining when something wasn't to his liking). I guess in the moment those bad moments feel a lot worse than they actually are and when they are over, I should just move on and not beat myself up about it. I think kids generally get over those moments alot faster than the parents do. If I asked Owen about our day on the 4th I wonder if he would even remember our collective meltdown. I'm betting probably not.
I think that because I work all week I sometimes try too hard to cram it all in on the weekends and we all suffer. I need to remember that sometimes it is ok to pass on special events or plans in order to make things more sane so that I can slow down and enjoy our time together on the weekends. Of course, Sunday I basically did the same thing all over again, though this time I managed to roll with the ups and downs a little more and not lose my cool. Though I was exhausted just the same and the evening ended with Owen eating dinner upstairs in our hallway at 7 pm (he didn't want to eat downstairs by himself) while I tried to get an over-tired Zora to bed. Maybe next weekend I'll learn my lesson.
Despite the mid-afternoon meltdown (mine and Owen's) we ended up having a nice 4th of July. Here are a few pictures of the fun.
Checking out the old fire truck in Shorewood Hills.
Waiting (and waiting, and waiting) for the fireworks to start.
Enjoying the fireworks at last!
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