Happy campers

This past weekend we went camping at Perrot State Park near Trempeleau, WI. The park is roughly half-way between Madison and Minneapolis and so it was a great place to meet the Hendricks' clan for a fun weekend in the outdoors. I have to admit I was more than a little apprehensive about Zora's first camping trip. We didn't take Owen camping until he was 2 1/2 for fear of him being up all night in the tent while we tried desperately to keep him quiet so he didn't disturb the other campers. Of course, those fears turned out to be completely unfounded with Owen and he has been a great camper from the start and he absolutely loves camping. Which was the reason we were getting ready to take Zora camping at 8 mos - because Owen wanted to go camping and it didn't seem fair to tell him we weren't going to be camping this summer because Zora was too young. More than one person told me they thought we were crazy. And since Zora hit one of her worst stretches of waking up during the night a week before we were supposed to leave, I was definitely having second, third and fourth thoughts about the whole idea. But since Katrina had already reserved 2 campsites we were in for better or worse.

And things definitely started off for the worse. It won't surprise most of you to know that we were not all together organized when friday morning rolled around. Basically, we had not bought food for the trip or packed anything yet. We were hoping to leave by noon and we finally pulled out around 1:30 with every square inch of the car filled with gear and 2 more stops to make before we left town for some essentials we had forgotten to pick up earlier. Around 3:oo pm we were 20 or so miles outside of Madison when Ken says "I think I may have forgotten to pack my sleeping bag." After a few minutes of discussion we concluded that he had indeed forgotten it. He said he would be ok and we proceeded to talk about how we could have forgotten it - it had been on the chair with Owen's sleeping bag afterall. Oh. A bit more discussion and we realize that we had in fact forgotten ALL of the sleeping bags. So we headed back to Madison to get them. After losing an hour to turning around for the bags, we finally reached the campground around 6:30 pm. Owen announced he was "so excited I'm freaking my little mind out." We told Owen we had a new, big tent (love that REI discount!) and as we drove past some of the other sites Owen asked Ken if it was "one of those big tents on wheels." Well, not that big. When we got to our site Katrina already had dinner going so Owen, Zora and I got some food while Ken started setting up our tent (which Owen pronounced was "like a tent hotel" when he saw it). It had been raining off and on throughout the day and the sky was looking pretty gray and just as we got the rainfly on the tent (but not staked down), the rain came. An absolute downpour. So while Ken stood out in the rain trying to stake the rainfly down, the rest of us stayed dry in the tent. Ken was so soaked that he just stayed outside, fetching various things for us from the car and the cooler (toys, diapers, beers, etc). As I said, things did not get off to a stellar start. But the rain stopped just as it was getting close to dusk and the Hendricks' retired to their tent and we actually got Zora and Owen to sleep without much trouble. Owen slept soundly all night and Zora only woke a couple of times briefly before getting up for a bottle a little before 4:30. I, on the other hand, did not sleep well at all waking up off an on all night long. I was just falling back to sleep after Ken put Zora back to sleep after her bottle when we heard this horrible screeching noise followed by a couple of short hoots. I've never heard the call of the very aptly-named screech owl before but I'm sure that is what it was. What a sound. And about 30 minutes later all sorts of interesting birds started singing. First one very loud one with more and more birds joining in as it grew lighter with every passing minute. Just as I started to drift off around 6:30, Zora popped her head up and started talking. Though I had hardly slept and felt pretty lousy, I was pretty impressed by how both Owen and Zora did sleeping in the tent. This camping stuff with an infant is not so hard after all. Not until 8:30 when we tried to get Zora to take a nap anyway. But I won't bore you with all of those details.

Owen and Zora bright-eyed and bushy-tailed after their first night sleeping in the tent.

Ken, not so much.

We had nice weather on Saturday and everyone had a great time playing around camp. Then we all went for a bike ride along the Great River State Trail. Owen insisted on riding his bike instead of riding in the trailer so we kept the ride short, riding a little over 2 miles to the entrance of the Trempeleau Wildlife Refuge and back. Then while Jon, Ken and Natalie went to town to pick up some things, Katrina, Morgan, Owen, Zora and I hiked up the trail to Brady's Bluff. It was a half-mile trail but pretty much went straight up to the 520' high overlook. I had my work cut our for me with Zora on my back in the backpack. I was feeling a lot of muscles I hadn't felt for far too long. I was amazed by the energy of Owen and Morgan as they hiked the whole way without slowing down. And the views from the top were worth the climb (you can see some more pictures of our weekend, including the view from the top over at Katrina's blog). The hike back down was steep and made me more than a bit nervous at times - both watching Owen traverse the steep winding trail and also feeling off-balance myself with the extra weight on my back. But we all made it back down and back to camp for an early dinner, showers and s'mores.

Zora was asleep by 6:30 and Owen by 7:30 (just in time for Zora to wake up from her "nap" and stay up for the next 2 hours!). I slept much better the second night though I was still exhausted when Owen and Zora woke us up at 6:00 am. We didn't do much Sunday morning other than pack up, but that was enough time for Zora to take a big nap (which made packing a challenge) while the older kids played, Morgan and Owen getting a lot of mileage out of the wooden gliders I brought. And enough time for Owen to wander into the middle of a patch of poison ivy.

Zora is a happy camper!

We really had a great weekend and I'm so glad we went. Camping with an infant definitely has its challenges. Especially a mobile infant who was always wanting to get down and crawl around. But both Owen and Zora seem to really love being outside (I think all kids naturally do) and it is fun to watch them enjoy and explore the outdoors. And it is nice for us to have a weekend were we aren't (and can't be) distracted by trying to run errands, clean the house, get on the computer, etc. and we can just spend uninterrupted time together with no real agenda. We are already talking about trying to fit another camping trip in before the weather gets too cold.

Tea party

Zora was invited to her first tea party today for her friend's 1st birthday.

The 3 little girls, all in their dresses, sat around their own little table for tiny cakes (no tea).

Zora wasted no time diving right into the cake.

And after finishing hers...

helped herself to the birthday girl's plate as well.

Owen, the ever helpful big brother, tried to give Zora more cake. She's doing just fine on her own, Owen!

Another helpful big brother helped the birthday girl blow out the candle. The adults got to eat this delicious lemon cake.

Then it was the boys' turn to eat with the birthday girl.

Zora playing and sporting her Cheerio-Baby Puff necklace...

and eating her necklace (that was the point, after all).

Finally, I put her in the swing where she quickly slipped into a food coma while Owen tried to run off his sugar buzz. It was a great party!

Date night

For almost a year now we have been taking turns watching kids with two other families that live near us. Most weekends on either friday or saturday night, one family "hosts" the kids for dinner and usually some playing and maybe a movie and the other 2 couples get to have some time to go out or just sit at home and enjoy some peace. Since Zora was born, she hasn't been included in date night so we haven't really been kid free, but it still is a nice break even having Zora with us (of course recently it has been much less of a break as Zora is such a handful all by herself - hopefully we will start leaving her as well soon). So tonight was supposed to be a date night, but the host family had to cancel. Ken had to work at REI so I had been planning to put Zora to bed early and have a little alone time - maybe read a book or something crazy like that. Owen was disappointed (he looks forward to going to the other houses and playing with the kids and usually staying up a little late). So I suggested that I put Zora to bed early and Owen and I could watch a movie and stay up a little late. Zora was asleep by 7 pm (never mind that she woke up just as the movie ended and again an hour later) and Owen selected the movie (Planet Earth: Ocean Deep despite my initial suggestions of Cars or Toy Story). We fixed a snack of Kettle Corn and Owen asked me to turn out all the lights and close the shades and "make it really, really dark" and we settled in. We've watched this movie many times before, of course - those creatures that live in "the depths" are straight out of a science fiction movie - but Owen's comments always add to the enjoyment. It was really so nice to spend some time with Owen when I'm not rushing him anywhere, not nagging him to get dressed, or undressed and not trying to pay attention to him and Zora at the same time. To just sit down and relax and enjoy each other. I imagine it might be pretty nice to be able to do that with Ken sometime too. Oh well, maybe next weekend.

Out for a ride

View from trail to Picnic Point

We had beautiful weather this weekend so we spent a lot of time outside - hitting the farmer's market, playing outside with friends and a birthday party at a local splash park (the party included hula-hoop lessons for the kids and the grown-ups and both Ken and I got out there along with Owen for some hooping. Sorry, we left the camera at home!). Saturday afternoon we decided to give Zora a ride in the bike trailer for the first time and all go for a bike ride. Earlier this winter we sold our single Chariot bike trailer and Ken got a double Chariot through a deal at REI. We were thinking that with 2 kids now we would need the double trailer. Well, since Owen took off his training wheels, he is not so interested in riding in the trailer and wants to ride his bike everywhere. So now Zora is sitting in the middle of our big double trailer. It has worked out ok so far, but we haven't gone too far yet. I'm thinking keeping our single trailer and buying a trail-a-bike for Owen may have been a better plan. Live and learn. Owen is actually pretty fast on his little bike and Ken has already mentioned that he thinks Owen needs a new bike with gears. "Do you know how fast he could go if he had gears?" If you ask me, he is going plenty fast already! (yes, this is just a month after he bought Owen his current bike. Don't get me started).

We just went for a short ride to Picnic Point since it was Zora's first ride. We stopped and played a bit by the lake (Mendota) where Owen took some pictures before we rode back home. Everytime the camera comes out lately, Owen wants to take some pictures. Of course he has a Fisher Price kids digital camera that we found on craigslist last fall, but it really is hard to see what you are taking a picture of on that screen and I still haven't installed the software so we can download pictures off of the thing. Our camera is on it's last legs anyway making a horrible sound everytime the lens goes in or out so I figure there is not much harm in letting him use it and it's pretty fun to see the results. I think Ken and Owen both wanted to go for a longer ride but Zora was tired so we headed back home. Zora wasn't crazy about the helmet but she seemed to like the trailer ok as long as it was moving. Everytime Ken stopped, she had something to say about it. That's our girl.

Here are a few of the pictures Owen took:

Zora finds a piece of bark and...

puts it in her mouth. At least Ken is paying attention enough to try to remove it.

Owen playing on the rocks (Owen didn't take this one, obviously).

Me and the kiddos by the lake (or this one).

Eight months

Zora was 8 months old yesterday. It is so much fun to watch her express her personality more and more. She is active and curious and grabs at anything and everything (and man, is she fast!). We have taken to calling her "the master of disaster" (Owen especially likes this) because where ever she goes a mess is sure to follow. She can be quite vocal and she definitely lets you know when she is not happy - sometimes really crying but sometimes it's more of a yell and other times she just gives us the business - like she is lecturing us. She is always moving and sometimes you can barely hold on to her (but when she is tired she likes nothing more than to be snuggled and held - and if we try to put her down, she will definitely let you know she is not happy about it. Or just sit up in her crib and start blowing raspberries). She is persistent in what she wants and laughs when I tell her no. I think we might be in trouble in the months (and years) to come.

I find myself noticing the many ways that these first 8 months are similar to and different from the first 8 months with Owen. I'm not trying to compare them. Well I guess I am comparing them - but not to judge them. I just think it is interesting to note the similarities and the differences, not just in them but in me and how I experience this time with them. I feel like I am a little more even keeled this time around and not overwhelmed quite so easily. And while I think we are getting more sleep than we did with Owen, I'm more exhausted (maybe because I'm about to turn 40, but also because keeping up with 2 kids is just more exhausting). I also feel like I can't focus as much on Zora or give her as much attention as I did Owen, because she is one of two and not the only one. For example, we spent a lot more time reading to Owen at this age than we do Zora. And we pretty much followed his schedule when it came to naps, etc. where with Zora we are constantly hauling her off some place when she should be sleeping. Sometimes I feel bad that Zora is missing out on some of that attention and focus, but other times I think that having a little less intense focus from me might be a good thing.

Owen laughed, I mean really laughed, when he was a baby. Zora has a huge, beautiful, expressive smile and she giggles a little but you really have to work to get her to laugh. And she laughs mostly for Owen. Zora definitely seems like she is in a bigger hurry to move than Owen was. She is crawling now and pulls herself up on everything and is starting to cruise. Maybe watching an older sibling who is constantly moving is extra motivation (Owen only had Ken and I to watch and we mostly sat on our bums in a state of utter exhaustion when he was a baby). She is also falling a lot and has gotten many bumps and bruises already. I don't know if this is because she is less cautious than Owen, we are not as worried or we are just more distracted. Or maybe all 3. Getting her dressed or changing her diaper is like a wrestling match and sometimes it takes 2 people to get the job done. And if you turn your back on her for one second, she has something in her mouth. I brought her in from outside a couple of weeks ago and laid her down to change her when she started gagging. I opened her mouth and fished out a piece of bark. Owen did put some things in his mouth, but it was never a huge thing for him. Then again, maybe some of this is due to that less intense focus I was talking about.

There are many things that are similar and it's fun when I'm reminded of things that Owen did or we did with Owen and we can share those memories with him now as we watch Zora. Like telling him that he liked avocado when he was a baby just like Zora does. Or that we used to read the same books to him before bedtime and I used to sing to him to help him fall asleep like I do with Zora. And that he loved to splash and play in the bath when he was a baby (and he still does) just like Zora.

One thing that is very much the same is how I am constantly overwhelmed by what an amazing little person she is and how deep and fierce my love for her is. Of course, what is different is that, genetically speaking, I had no part in creating this amazing little person. Much of the time this doesn't even occur to me. But when it does, it is not in a negative way or something that changes the way I feel about Zora or being her mother. Now, I do have to admit that sometimes when I look at her and think how amazing she is, I wish I could claim some responsibility for some of it (I know there is nature and nurture and both play a role. But at this young age I feel like we haven't had much influence on who she is). But I also think, how amazing. With a child who is biological, you have some sense of the potential pool of traits this new little person is drawing from. I know even when you have a biological child, it's a little bit of a toss of the dice. There are thousands (or millions) of different possible genetic combinations and sometimes children are completely different from their parents. But when you adopt it seems like there are infinitely more possibilities - the birth parents could be anyone - and you really have no idea what personality, temperament or other traits might be in the pool. But here is this little girl who has the genes of two people I have never even met (but the fact that they made Zora makes me think they must have some pretty great qualities) and already she has this personality that I love, even when she is driving me crazy, and she is strong and beautiful and funny. Ok, maybe it is just that when you are a parent, no matter how you came to be the parent of your particular child, you will always think they are great. Maybe we are hard wired that way. Maybe that is part of having a little person who is totally dependent on you every day and knowing them in a way that you will never know anyone else. But I still think it is pretty amazing.

Pea pick

We have a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) share at Vermont Valley Community Farm. They have several events on the farm throughout the season and Sunday was the first event - a pea pick. Ken was working and despite my better judgement I decided to take Owen and Zora because Owen was so excited to go to the farm. The farm is about 35 minutes west of Madison. It made for a long day, but it was really beautiful there and we had fun.

Owen among the peas.

Taking a break.

Owen took the camera and took a few shots:

A shot of me and Zora.

A close up of the peas.

And some flowers.

Fire engines and fireworks on the 4th

Just a warning that this post is a bit long and rambling. It was an interesting day for me filled with the ups and downs of parenting and I wanted to share not just what we did that day but some of my thoughts, frustrations and maybe some lessons I'm trying to learn. So bear with me.

Ken had to work all day, but Owen, Zora and I went down to Shorewood Hills for some 4th of July fun. Owen loved checking out the old fire truck and decorating our bike trailer (in preparation for the parade, which we missed due to naps). We stuck around the house for the afternoon trying, unsuccessfully, to get Zora to take a decent nap. Ken got home just in time for dinner and after Zora was in bed, Owen and I went up to the country club in Shorewood to watch the fireworks. I pulled Owen in the bike trailer. Unfortunately the only bike available with the trailer hitch attachment was Ken's single speed. The country club is not far from our apartment, but it is all uphill. I made it almost to the top of the very long climb before I had to walk. And Owen was sitting in the trailer, yelling "Get back on your bike and pedal Mama! We are going to miss the fireworks - hurry!" The fireworks got off to a slow start. I don't know if they were having technically difficulties or what the story was, but they shot off one every 10 minutes or so for the first 40 minutes. When they finally got underway, Owen was so excited he couldn't contain himself - jumping up and down and yelling "That's amazing! It's like a star dream. Wow, did you see that. That was amazing!" for the duration of the show. The ride home was easy going, except for the part when Owen decided to put his feet on the back tire of the bike.

We had a lot of fun on the 4th but it was also exhausting. With Ken at work, I definitely bit off more than I could chew with my plans for the day and we all paid for it. I tried to pack in 4th of July fun, jam making, housing cleaning and naps for a 7 mos old who wasn't having it. Around 4:30 pm, I was trying to finish the jam at the exact moment Zora woke up and also figure out what to have for dinner and get it started. Owen was tired of being inside and wanted to go out outside to ride his bike. I told him to stay in front of the house and I went outside within 2 minutes to check on him and he was no where to be seen. I called for him a couple of times and then with a slight feeling of panic started around the corner. He came riding back and when I tried to talk to him about it, a meltdown ensued and we both ended up yelling (not one of my best moments, but certainly not my worst). Just as I was about to really blow, I picked Owen up and hugged him and he sobbed "I love you Mama" into my shoulder. We both managed to calm down and I got to work on dinner and Owen went to play with friends. After the meltdown when I was full of mama-guilt for losing my temper and trying to get too much done, I felt like the whole day had been filled with arguing with Owen, meltdowns and struggles and that what should have been a fun day was ruined. As I write this post a couple of days later, though I can still remember how terrible I felt that afternoon, I realized that most of the day had in fact been fun and that the most of the frustration and fighting had been confined to about 30 minutes (not that there wasn't the usual amount of asking Owen to do something 3 or 4 times, or Owen whining when something wasn't to his liking). I guess in the moment those bad moments feel a lot worse than they actually are and when they are over, I should just move on and not beat myself up about it. I think kids generally get over those moments alot faster than the parents do. If I asked Owen about our day on the 4th I wonder if he would even remember our collective meltdown. I'm betting probably not.

I think that because I work all week I sometimes try too hard to cram it all in on the weekends and we all suffer. I need to remember that sometimes it is ok to pass on special events or plans in order to make things more sane so that I can slow down and enjoy our time together on the weekends. Of course, Sunday I basically did the same thing all over again, though this time I managed to roll with the ups and downs a little more and not lose my cool. Though I was exhausted just the same and the evening ended with Owen eating dinner upstairs in our hallway at 7 pm (he didn't want to eat downstairs by himself) while I tried to get an over-tired Zora to bed. Maybe next weekend I'll learn my lesson.

Despite the mid-afternoon meltdown (mine and Owen's) we ended up having a nice 4th of July. Here are a few pictures of the fun.

Checking out the old fire truck in Shorewood Hills.

Waiting (and waiting, and waiting) for the fireworks to start.

Enjoying the fireworks at last!

Strawberry Picking

I took the morning off from work last Thursday and Owen and I went strawberry picking just outside of Sun Prairie, about 2o-25 mins from our house. Owen got a little antsy on the drive, first insisting that we couldn't possibly be in Madison anymore because we had been in the car so long (10 mins). And no matter how many times I assured him we were still in Madison, he insisted that we weren't. 5 minutes when he asked again if we were in Madison and I told him no, now we are in Sun Prairie he insisted we could not possibly have left Madison. This was after he told me I was wrong about the new building going up on campus - I said it was the Wisconsin Institute for Discovery and he said it was a motel. Owen will argue with me about anything, just for the sake of arguing (just a few weeks ago he argued with me when I told him it was Tuesday, insisting that it wasn't). I started to get pretty frustrated and lose my temper a little bit - I don't like it much when someone insists I'm wrong when I know full well that I'm right - before realizing how pointless it was to argue with a 4 1/2 yr old (who probably got his tendency to argue for the sake of arguing from yours truly).

It was pretty much the tail end of strawberry season here - it was the last day at the farm we went to - so the picking was not optimal. The week before was peak, but it was so hot here I just couldn't bring myself to go. It was pretty picked over and many of the remaining berries were over-ripe, but we still managed to pick a 10 lb flat. Owen had a quart box he was picking into and he insisted on putting his berries in there and not in the flat box I had, even when his box was completely overflowing. He also, to my surprise, refused to eat any of the berries while we were picking, though I did finally convince him to eat one berry once we were finished. It's not that Owen doesn't like strawberries - he loves them in fact. I guess he just had it in his head that he was there to pick, not to eat. Apparently he has more self-control than I do.

Over the weekend, we took our berries and made our first attempt at making jam. Owen loved smashing up the berries and stirring the mixture and also sampling the jam when it was done. I guess technically I made jam once 6 or 7 years ago with Sandi Longhini after going thimbleberry picking with her and Kirsti. But actually, she did all the work of making the jam while I mostly watched. I guess I might have smashed the berries and stirred a little. Anyway, I think our strawberry jam turned out pretty good for our first try. Now Owen and I are getting ready for raspberry picking season!

Owen, busy picking.

Quality control.

Showing off his quart of strawberries (minus those I had to keep dumping into my box when he wasn't looking to keep it from overflowing).

After all the hard work, he finally samples a berry. Yum.